Ghosts Upstaged

I’m running out of things to say
Things to fill the gap between us
I’m running out of games to play
Devils willing to come out and meet us
A shortage of time
An overload of space
A shortage of patience
An overload of shame

When the second act begins
Some characters don’t cross over
When the second act begins
Some of us have to remain sober
When the lights rearrange
And the ghosts are upstaged
We’ve all got new names
And some of us just can’t stay

We’re running out of things to do
Things to keep us awake and resilient
We’re running out of love to choose
Angels willing to tell us we’re brilliant
A shortage of time
An overload of space
A shortage of patience
An overload of shame

When the second act begins
Some characters don’t live to tell
When the second act begins
Some of us have to curses to dispel
When the lights rearrange
And the ghosts are upstaged
We’ve all got new names
And some of us just can’t stay

A shortage of time
An overload of space
A shortage of patience
An overload of shame
When the lights rearrange
And the ghosts are upstaged
We’ve all got new names
And some of us just can’t stay

-Kortney Marie

Doll Without a Name (2008)

This room reeks of poison, of a love quite unclean
Sounds like bloodshed, an ode the the obscene
In between the moon and your piercing eyes
I see that I am a captive in a brilliant disguise
I’ll dance because you tell me to do so
Lie down when you tell me, and you must know
That I am a willing slave though I break the rules
I incite punishment because I enjoy the abuse
And if you care for me at all, you will hurt me
Remind me that I am darling but quite dirty
We’ll take these morbid fascinations to an extreme
Because we know it is vital to this dream
And it’s a nightmare we love, a horror to most
It’s a fantasy for us, and a promise to uphold
With your hands on my throat, new bruises on my thighs
I’m gasping for air, and staring into your eyes
This is what we came here for, so let’s not wait
Defenses down, this is our show, a sick charade
An evening devoid of any and all sense of shame
And for a time, I am nothing more
Than an enslaved lover behind closed doors
A wretched sinner bound to your bed-frame
I am a girl bearing your mark, a doll without a name
-Kortney Marie

Poison (November 2008)

Split me open so that the world can see what has been missing
And we can know your heart’s wasted on the lips you’ve been kissing
You’ll start running away, and I won’t bother chasing you down
Because I have no heart, and my morals are nowhere to be found
We were fun, but we were cheap like boxed wine and plastic glasses
Eyes wide shut, we are blinded by the moon as a fragile moment passes
Our love lies slain across a mountain of my regrets and shame
It sprang out of the mole hill I made when you forgot my name
I never let it go, and I only drove you across the borders of your sanity
I never noticed because I was trapped in my coffin full of vanity
But when I asked you to leave, you begged me to let you stay
Though I’m never a burden, I’m always in your way
-Kortney Marie

Inner Demon

Relentlessly, criticism clamors around in my mind
My hair, my weight, my skin, my thighs
All too happy to over analyze
The flaws that never catch his eye
But I must delight in picking myself apart
Because I have turned it into a wicked art
Self-destruction, she always knows the way
To get between what I think and what I say
And it’s so sad because I know better by now
I just never learned how
How to silence the wreckage in my head
Or drown it out with joy instead

-Kortney Marie

So Proud to Call You Mine

It’s a far more beautiful
special, magical, lovely
phenomenal thing
than you realize
Every touch
Every kiss
Every glance
Every moment
Leaves me completely floored
Winded, stunned, amazed
I don’t think I ever told you
That you are my world
And I light up a bit more
Each time you call me your girl

And we’re a tangled mess
Of limbs, blankets, pillows
Passion, love, pure joy
I find myself
Utterly lost
In your eyes, your voice
Your hands in my hair
Breath in my ear
Hand on my shoulder
…everything
…every time

And I freeze-frame
These half seconds in which our worlds collide
It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
More perfect than my sweetest dreams

And I tell you this now so we never forget
I have been stronger, brighter, happier
Since the day we fell into each other’s eyes
…I grow to love you more every time you hold my gaze
Kiss my hand or say my name

-Kortney Marie

“Then I thought, there was no god…there was only what you wanted.”
White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
Oh, lady, what have you done?
Selling your skin for coins
Again, you’re on a manhunt
But this forest is full of boys
We miss your smile and your laugh
Your reminiscing about moments past
And we just wish you’d come back
-Kortney Marie

Aside

How Long?

The mattress radiates heat
Sheets cling to the backs of my knees.
I am unsure of where I’ve been,
What I’ve done, who I am.
Another nightmare
Another hazy and bitter dawn.
How long
How long
Until the ties are severed forever?

-Kortney Marie

Previous Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: